yeemun decides, then changes her mind again. Again.

So after recent events that transpired over the course of this past week, I have come to the realization that I am extremely selfish. Admitting it makes me feel worse, if that’s even possible, like it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Can I even love like how I want to be loved? And to only realize this now, after nearly 21 years of existence, is quite a feat. Have I really gone through my entire life thinking only about what I want? What I need? What I should get out of it? 

Time for a change. Yup yup. I’m doing this for him. 

 

me out.

yeemun counts down to finals.

1 Advertising presentation

1 peer evaluation paper

1 PR Strategies assignment

1 Asian business paper

1 extra credit advertisement

1 whole magazine to edit

 

Oh halfway point. gosh. 

 

me out. 

 

P.s. good night. and i still feel like shit thanks for asking. okbye.

yeemun wants this week to just bloody end already.

I’m tired. Ordinarily I’d just curl up into myself to wait out the emo-ness, but I’m finding it hard to pretend that everything is ok anymore. 

I just want this to end. Stupid cat and mouse game. Chasing and being chased. And during Easter week no less. Don’t tell me what to do. I know what to do. I just can’t do it. I can’t do anything. And the fact that I did all this to myself makes it seem so much worse. 

Every week I find myself turning something down, or cancelling on plans with friends, shunning the world, just because I’m scared I’m going to crack. Break down, in front of everybody. Lose it. Lash out. So I stay away. Secretly I want to go out, have fun, hang out, but the more I go out the higher the chances of an implosion. Does it matter? I’m getting there anyway. 

Presentations, meetings, stupid COD guys, exams, practice, rehearsals, cell, cell contribution thingy, assignments assignments assignments, american flyer, chasing teachers, family, house stuff, finding a new roommate, planning holidays, finding a job, getting an internship proper, graduating, researching my theses, graduate school applications, the constant mess that is my room. 

I just want it all to go away. I just want to rest and not be found. I just want all the pressure to go away. I just want to be loved the way I deserve to be loved. 

 

I just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask? 

 

me out.

yeemun is thankful and sleepy.

Thank you God for good results and my writing talent. Thank you God for Xinch and Angela who fetch me around so that I don’t have to take the bus all the time. Thank you God for financial stability so that I still have enough money to eat wan tan mee and taiwan sausage and make mocha drinks for college. Thank you God for cool air and restful slumber. Thank you God that I never lack anything I truly truly need. Thank you God for new clothes and for helping me control my spending. Haha. Thank you God for creating hawker food. Thank you God for mango pudding. Thank you God for English literature. Thank you God for good lecturers who actually want to teach. Thank you God for helping me remember all my facts. Thank you God for Cadbury digestive cookies. 

Thank you God for giving me the ability to write 1000 words in an hour during crunch time. 

 

me out.

yeemun tries to apply Psalm 118:24 to a Monday while high on caffeine.

Two packets of Nescafe and one packet of Van Houten hot chocolate make for an especially yummy morning pick-me-up me thinks. 

That is, until the sugar buzz wears off and all you want to do is crawl into bed with your Cookie Monster to sleep the cotton-wool-in-your-head feeling off. 

I don’t want to crashhh! I don’t I don’t. I still have an assignment to finish by noon, another by tomorrow and both my tests are still looming in the near near near future. 

Having said that, I can’t buy my pretty pretty MNG dress, or my Charles & Keith black lace peep toe pumps and it’s a Monday to boot. 

But, it’s a sunny day, I have lots of new music on my Mac, an episode of Gossip Girl to look forward to later in the evening and a good hair day.  

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

 (Psalm 118:24, NIV)

 

me out. 

yeemun is distracted by gossip girl.

And so I am berry berry tired today.

I finished chap 3 of phoenix wright yay me!

Waited for the bus for a whole hour today in the pouring rain. My sax and I were all wet.  

Practice took longer than usual, and we only finished at 5.30 p.m. Ended up in Black Canyon in Centerpoint with Shin Yi and Rachel discussing the merits of chocolate pudding. 

 

And now I’m home and my Business Admin textbook is staring at me. And I am staring back rather forlornly as well. And there’s a Word window open on my desktop which is titled MCH208 Assignment 3, which refuses to be inspiring. 

But anyway, crunch time is munch time.  

I have Cadbury chocolate chip cookies to keep me company. Yums. 

 

 

me out.

yeemun eats cereal for a week.

Can I die of eating too much Coco Pops? Lately I feel like the only thing I’ve been consuming on a regular basis is chocolate rice cereal with lots of milk. 

Oh dear. Tummy tummy tummy.  

But then again, I have been eating some awesomely yummy food lately too:

Soft shell crab fried rice with Dima at William’s

Ark Tui Mee Suah in Kota Damansara with Xinch and Bee Sim

Pork Noodles in Subang with Angela and her friends

and Ramleee burger. yummeh!

I can’t wait to get my iPhone so I’ll finally have a handy camera again. 

 

Blardy hell. Org comm not done yet. I will persevere!

 

me out.

yeemun gets all riled up over nothing?

1 PR case studies assignment

1 PR Strategies case study

1 advertisement and group presentation

1 Asian Business Environment paper

1 Comm in the Workplace diversity paper

1 Advertising test

1 Intro to Business Admin test

All due next week. Oh joy. 

 

 

me out.

yeemun wants ice-cream now!

So it’s the 31st. And yes, the only significance of this date is of course, sale-related. What else?

Baskin Robbins day! Yay!

Choc chip cookie dough and cherries jubilee here I come! (seriously I like the strangest flavours. I want pistachio too!)

Hmm. Thank God for the little things.

me out.

you and i

Something.  

don’t you worry, there my honey 
we might not have any money 
but we’ve got our love to pay the bills 

maybe I think you’re cute and funny, 
maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you, 
if you know what I mean 

oh, let’s get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France 
let’s get rich and give everybody nice sweaters 
and teach them how to dance 
let’s get rich and build our house on a mountain 
making everybody look like ants 
from way up there, you and I, you and I 

well you might be a bit confused 
and you might be a little bit bruised 
but baby how we spoon like no one else 
so I will help you read those books 
if you will soothe my worried looks 
and we will put the lonesome on the shelf 

oh let’s get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France 
let’s get rich and give everybody nice sweaters 
and teach them how to dance 
let’s get rich and build our house on a mountain 
making everybody look like ants 
from way up there you and I, you and I 

-Ingrid Michaelson