The January Review
So I’m in Penang right now, taking stock of the past 31 days of the year. Such a whirlwind. New life, new resolutions, new clothes, new saxophone, new outlook, new diet, new fats, new friends.
Strengthening my will to exercise is so difficult. Strengthening my will to eat less, even more so. But I’ve come to a point now where I can actually leave food on my plate and not feel as guilty as I used to. In fact, I think I feel even guiltier when I finish all of my food. There’s this lump in my throat which won’t go away when I eat half of it. And so I try to stop eating if I can. Also, I don’t feel like eating as much sugar as I used to. Admittedly, there have been 2 or 3 emo binges after particularly severe fights. But yes, so far so good. My jeans are looser. 
But I feel fatter. How can that possibly be? I don’t even feel like buying clothes anymore because I know my fat body won’t do them any justice whatsoever. I have no idea whether this is a good thing.
Writing is therapeutic. And reading, even more so. Here’s to an even better February! 
